Hello Sailor As the Water Rat in Wind in the Willows, advises the mole, ‘Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing – absolutely nothing – half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.’ I messed around in boats when I learned to sail on a lake. It was comedic right … [Read more…]
Beach Dogs Bayside Melbourne is dog heaven. During shutdown I’ve been walking the beach promenade every day. It provides a complete brain clean. Many mongrels and pedigree hounds are out there on the beach before first light. I chat to the owners outside the Guilty Moose café, as I pick up my morning takeout … [Read more…]
A Dog’s Life ‘Draw your chair up close to the edge of the precipice and I’ll tell you a story’ Scott Fitzgerald from The Crack-Up The modern dog has one hell of a good life. With the proviso that the dog lives in a pet orientated country like Australia and … [Read more…]
My Friend Nigel Nigel was a street cat. I first met him in a French cafe in inner city Melbourne when he strolled out of the kitchen and slipped up onto my lap. He made me laugh. To hell with health regulations, he’d settled in for the evening. Nigel had no interest in the … [Read more…]
The Amorous Goldfish The first theatre play that I wrote, involved a character named Alphonse. I’d been fortunate in that I’d been offered a mentorship with a professional director. The Australia Council for the Arts also offered me a rehearsed reading in a city theatre with the director, professional actors and an audience. It was … [Read more…]
Rites of Spring The advent of spring initiates a whole new wave of city madness. At the very first glimmer of sunshine Melbourne folk tear off their puffa jackets, scarves and beanies and recklessly bare their skin. Melbourne’s denizens believe that first of September tells us that spring has arrived. And that the last few … [Read more…]
Ma Kelly’s Boy ‘Don’t be frightened. Nothing will happen to you. I have a mother of my own.’ Ned Kelly to Anne Calvert while robbing the National Bank at Euroa. On November 11 1880, Edward ‘Ned’ Kelly was hanged for murder at Melbourne Goal. A reporter at the time claimed that Mrs … [Read more…]
Easy Rider ‘You watch the white line and try to lean with it . . . howling through a turn to the right, then to the left and down the long hill to Pacifica . . . letting off now watching for cops, but only until the next dark stretch and another few seconds … [Read more…]
Melbourne Tram Devotees Melbourne’s denizens love to moan about public transport. It was recently noted in the press that currently we have the largest network of trams in the world – yet we still have no train line out to Melbourne airport. Whenever train and tram seating gets a makeover, there’s inevitably … [Read more…]
Mirka Mora 1928-2018 ‘Every time you show your work, you really show your soul.’ Mirka I never met Mirka Mora, but she became one of my most favourite people. I only know Mirka through her paintings and her wonderful autobiography, Wicked but Virtuous; My Life. Whenever I stop to look at Mirka’s murals – they … [Read more…]
I often sneak back to the old neighbourhood to meet friends. It’s become increasingly gentrified; old houses have been tizzied up and sold for exceedingly high prices. Subsequently many of the artists, writers, junkies, musicians, booze hounds, photographers, dressmakers, poets and reprobates, I once knew have moved on. Some wisely moved up the coast … [Read more…]
When I was a child I couldn’t understand why a large part of the world lacked essential food and clean water – and were frequently starving – while the rest of the world were either dieting like fiends or noshing on exotic food stuffs in fancy expensive restaurants. Not much has changed. I find … [Read more…]
Melbourne’s Deakin Edge is a strange venue. The whole construction slopes precariously down to the hardwood stage area. Vertigo was apparent on the faces of those pioneering their way down to the front rows during the 2017 Melbourne Writers Festival. Rock icon, Tex Perkins (born Gregory Stephen Perkins), was onstage being interviewed by radio … [Read more…]
The crucifix stage is a raised catwalk illuminated with bare light bulbs. Two mysterious shrouded women sing while the audience take their places at small cabaret tables. There’s haze. A hell of a lot of hazy stage mist is being pumped from an industrial machine. Something perfumes the air and evokes the smell of church … [Read more…]
It’s been a particularly lovely Melbourne autumn this year but now the days are getting shorter and we are heading into winter. Taking the city bound tram and heading off early to work on golden autumn mornings has been fabulous. The late nineteenth century trees that line both sides of St Kilda Road … [Read more…]
Ever since I read, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, I’ve had a thing for mushrooms. I was about six when I first came across the notorious Alice Liddell, disappearing down the rabbit hole into a fantastical world. The scene where she comes across the caterpillar sucking on a hookah – while seated on a sinister … [Read more…]
London’s fictitious Hotel du Barry is nine floors of wickedness, jealousies, aberrant desires and delectable sins. It’s a darkly humorous tale fuelled by gin and murderous intent. I had lot of fun writing the Hotel du Barry. I wanted to create a palace akin to the Vatican, a place of mystery and imagination. It would … [Read more…]